hmm
lets see... last weekend i went up north just 1 hour away to the lake! It was pretty fun but after a while it got boring. it rained saterday night and evrything in our tent got went. then it rained a lot of sunday, the rain sucked pretty bad! me and cassie went swimming and got stalked by 9 year olds who thought i was sexy? that was really annoying and strange. cassie played volleyball and i did nothing and we played uno a lot.
Then yesterday night i hung out with carissa lee jessie erin brad and jamie. i met brad finn for the first time and he is really funny i think hes really cool. he is the first gay friend i have ever had! well that i knew was gay... we went to jamies then carissas then jamies then me erin and jamie went to erins and watched some of sweet home alabama but then me and jamie(who sprained his ankle) had to leave. then i came home and had a really good convo with alex!
i just woke up about 1/2 hour ago and i feel really bad. i dont think any one wants to be around me and feel like they all think im annoying as hell know one ever wants to hang out with me and they NEVER call i cant remember the last time somene called me and asked ME to hangout! im the one always calling people and trying to find someone to hangout with and they are always already with people so obviously they didnt want to invite me... i feel like such and outcast like im the outsider and whenever i tell people this they are just like yeah right i like you! but they never want me any where and it makes me feel like total shit sometimes. like yesterday... everyone was already hanging out right behind my house and they didnt come and get me. so dont think they all came over to hang out it didnt happen that way
w/e screw this shit (i wish i could)
GRR... I hate saying all of this stuff cuz ppl thing im being dumb. but im sorry i cant help the way i feel and i if your not going to take me for who i am then i guess that is ok. i just wish everything could go to how it used to be. i loved my friends and still do sooo much and i really miss them : / i just hope if we were really ment to be friends that it will all work and i dont know what i will do if it dosent life sucks so much right now and i hope its not like this for much longer cuz i cant take it.
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON
To top is all off... i just found out that chase didnt die from being sick... he commited suicide! i cant believe it. i love him so much and he was one of the coolest guys i knew and i miss him a lot. i just hope he knew that before he did it....
Current Mood:
gloomyCurrent Music: eric clapton - tears in heaven